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Are you a David Cronenberg character?

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  1. You really should have this drain cleaned up.
  2. You live in a claustrophobic environment, from which the only escape is promiscuous sex.
  3. You have this growth in your armpit. That makes you the next step in evolution.
  4. Your children are high maintenance. If you are their mother, it’s fine.
  5. You are prone to those splitting headaches, they are so bad you feel your skull is about to explode.
  6. You wanna try things.
  7. You are not overly fond of campaining politicians.
  8. Your body seems weird to others more than it feels to yourself.
  9. You have plenty of rooms at the inn.That explains your taste for twins.
  10. Your philosophy is a mix of existentialism and nihilism. You feel comfortable about it.
  11. You might seem confused about your sexuality but you are not. It all came clear to you in that police van.
  12. You had a car. Well you had cars, plural.
  13. You have all possible orifices plus some.
  14. You hate Spaniards. They might hate your guts tambíen but you don’t care. They are Spaniards.
  15. You are Russian, so you have a history of violence and the tattoos to prove it.
  16. You sometimes go to the Turkish Baths, but rarely. It is a bit too much of a workout for you.
  17. You smoke cigars with your tongue in your cheek.
  18. Your prostate proves itself a major disappointment.
  19. You read Eluard once. It haunts you.
  20. Insects from North Korea have colonised your left breast.
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