- You really should have this drain cleaned up.
- You live in a claustrophobic environment, from which the only escape is promiscuous sex.
- You have this growth in your armpit. That makes you the next step in evolution.
- Your children are high maintenance. If you are their mother, it’s fine.
- You are prone to those splitting headaches, they are so bad you feel your skull is about to explode.
- You wanna try things.
- You are not overly fond of campaining politicians.
- Your body seems weird to others more than it feels to yourself.
- You have plenty of rooms at the inn.That explains your taste for twins.
- Your philosophy is a mix of existentialism and nihilism. You feel comfortable about it.
- You might seem confused about your sexuality but you are not. It all came clear to you in that police van.
- You had a car. Well you had cars, plural.
- You have all possible orifices plus some.
- You hate Spaniards. They might hate your guts tambíen but you don’t care. They are Spaniards.
- You are Russian, so you have a history of violence and the tattoos to prove it.
- You sometimes go to the Turkish Baths, but rarely. It is a bit too much of a workout for you.
- You smoke cigars with your tongue in your cheek.
- Your prostate proves itself a major disappointment.
- You read Eluard once. It haunts you.
- Insects from North Korea have colonised your left breast.